Phew. The kids are napping and I am sitting down with some left over enchiladas and a sanpellagrino. It has been a morning let me tell you. It’s always interesting to see what sort of battle will happen the moment you have a meeting with someone at your house. Will the toddler suddenly lash out and for someone reason be incredibly disobedient, or will your house just look unkempt and completely chaotic? Those are somewhat usual in the 720 square foot space that we live in. The unkempt part, yes (at least in my mind) the obedient child sometimes. Today though… was a whole other story.
I felt like I was doing well on time this morning (which I really struggle with). The baby was down for a nap, I was dressed (not showered, no teeth brushed, no face washed, but dressed), toddler was happy and fed, laundry was going, dishes were washed, and my 10 o’clock appointment was about to arrive. She showed up well 5 minutes early today (which is not normal). EEEEEEK! (you know you can accomplish a ton in 5 minutes). She came beaming through the door with an extra eggnog chai in hand for me. Yes! Thank you Robin! So I know what your thinking (I think) man she’s doing well. Dressed, everything seems to be going well. She has a great student to meet with who is always an encouragement, she has a free hot drink to sip on while chatting in the quietness of her house… tra la la la di dah.
Well it is so funny to me how God puts situations together for you to trust him with. Within literally 10 minutes, (a lot can happen in that time as well….) the baby woke up, and the toddler complained about a leaky diaper…. dun dun dun… First off the kid always fibs about if there is poop in her diaper when asked. This unfortunately was a leaky, cloth diaper. (Yeah we do that about 80% of the time.) The problem is that… A) we are in cloth at this very moment, B) the toddler is complaining of a leak somewhere in her footy pj’s, and C) I am supposed to be sitting down with my nice hot drink having some great deep spiritual conversation with a student… “Excuse me” I say politely…. We walk to the bedroom, unzip the footy pj’s and lo and behold massive blowout!!!!!!!!! I let out a very deep, agitated sigh.
Alright I say to myself, stay calm because people are watching… woops…. people yes, but God is too. Kid you not, there is poop up and down the outer part of my child and up and down the inside of the pj’s and I wont even tell you about the cloth diaper. I take several deep breaths. Stay calm, stay calm. In these situations I sometimes feel like this must not be my life, but then I zoom in and yup, looks like my life alright. I wrap the kid up in the pj’s and take her to the bathtub where we go into panic, breakdown mode. The whole time “the spirit of the Lord was upon me, ” (or so I kept repeating to myself in my mind). And boy was he, and boy did I need him. I wanted to cry and freak. (No one trains you for these situations in life, no one gives you a heads up, they just happen, it’s life.) But to my amazement I was super calm. My student just waited patiently in the other room, holding the baby. (Babies are good for girls to hold when you are dealing with a crisis, it’s really just a discipleship distraction technique.) I brought the ruined pj’s to the trash can in the garage (they were toast, I don’t usually throw things like this away because I am, well I think of myself as this… environmental.) But the pj’s and the cloth diaper (yup that too, don’t judge) I put them in the trash. I’m just going to forget they even existed actually. Still while I am walking back and forth through my house, toddler is still breaking down. After the poop was definitely cleaned up and tears were done shedding, the toddler was bathed, and well things seemed alright once again, I sank into my couch to listen to the life of my student. “Boy you were calm” is all she said.
“Thanks, it’s only because I am being held accountable right now.” And I know there was a lot of truth about that statement. Because she was here when this all came barking at my door, I had to remain calm. Then I think to myself, what would have happened if God would not have allowed her to be here at that very minute. Would I have been calm? Would I have trusted my God? Would my children’s presents been enough to hold me accountable and push me to rely on God? I sure hope so.
All I can say is I am thankful for days like this. Thankful that someone was here to hold the baby, that bleach exists, that our conversation after was awesome and encouraging, that things like this don’t happen every day, that my God is enough to help me to keep my cool and be patient, loving, kind, gentle, and compassionate in situations that really are not fun for anyone. And I am thankful for the freedom to write that I threw away pajamas and a cloth diaper and I don’t have to fear judgement from you, because I know who my judge is and my identity is found only in Him.